A Biography of Sheena Fujibayashi
by alicia-megan
Summary: Sheena's bio. Written in ranting form. For humour purposes. Sheelos, and some Colloyd.


**Hey guys! I'm re-posting with enters!! So you can actually read this! **

**I sent this in an e-mail to my bud, and then decided it was so awesome I had to edit it and put it on fanfiction.**

**So here we go!!!**

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The raven-haired chief of Mizuho. She is 19 in Tos1 and about 5'7". She is described as having a voluptuous body by her boyfriend/bitch/husband/mortal enemy Zelos Wilder.

Her parents who are completely unknown were found in Gonorrhea Forest. She got there because of Zelos!! Just Kidding!! Zelos doesn't have any STI's... I think... Anyway, this old guy who was the chief with the most awesome not real name of Igaguri or something... found an extremely cute little baby and raised it according to Mizuho traditions and stuff. She called him grandpa because he was old. Anyway, Grandpa decided when she was like 6 to ship her off to the Elemental Research Laboratory in Meltokio for some crazy reason or another... There, and at the Imperial Research Academy in Sybak she learned how to summon. Again, for unknown reasons other than that she could because of her small amount of elven blood.

At some point she was given Corrine, an artificial summon spirit who was tested on a crapload. By some people in the Elemental Research Laboratory. Where Richter and Aster were working at the time. And maybe doing some other stuff.... *hint hint wink wink nudge nudge* And Corrine was all YOU BITCHES!!! HOW DARE YOU EXPERIMENT ON ME!! I'M AWESOME AND YOU'RE HURTING ME!!! And so Sheena saved him/her.

But when she was seven, she accidentally pwned a quarter of her village, which isn't really saying much because there are only about 12 village members to begin with... So 3 people died. Wow. What a calamity. She was trying to form a pact with Volt the SS of lightning. She failed because he's an old fogey like that and didn't bother to learn the new language. That everyone speaks. Like, even Tenebrae knew it! Not just Tennie, but ALL the Centurions and Ratatosk! And they've been sleeping for 4000 years!! Whatever, apparently Volt is just a lazy-ass.

Anyway because those 9 people are bitches, they kind of ignored Sheena and didn't try to get close to her... And held this thing when she was FREAKING 7 YEARS OLD against her forever. But she became buds with Corrine. They were tight. And Zelos. Zelos and she were each others' only friends that actually cared about each other as people... But then Zelos didn't want his children to have the same shitty-ass life he did, so he made Sheena hate him to keep her from falling in love with him. But she kind of did already. And he was TOTALLY hot for her.

Anyway, when she was 19 Yuan told the King to get someone to kill Sylvarant's Chosen to save Tethe'alla. And the gullible king was like "I'll send someone from Mizuho! And if they fail I'll massacre the entire village!! YAY!!!" So Mizuho sent Sheena because no one would care if she died. And she totally failed. Yep. Who called it. But she tried to kill the party twice. And when she was trying, they played Fatalize. w00t! But she got pwned by Kratos.

Anyway, she joined the party to help save the people of Luin and to help them pwn Kvar. Who is currently burning in hell. I have no sympathy for the guy. He serves as a warning to NOT EVER MESS WITH KRATOS AURION!!

So Sheena then decided to help the group of peeps with their journey. She wanted to save Tethe'alla, but grew attached to Sylvarant as well. NOW WHAT!?!!? So after the last seal, the seal in the Tower of Mana/ Thoda Geyser/ Balacruf Mausoleum they went to the Tower of Salvation. Where Kratos sort of betrayed them. Then they pwned the crap out of Remiel. And some creepy-ass cross dresser came. Wearing Spandex. Yeah, who's sexy? Well actually before that they fought Kratos. And Colette lost her soul, so they went to Tethe'alla to try and save her. And also Sheena wanted and excuse to travel with the group more. Because they were also her friends. For the most part. Because Colette was like a soulless demon.

So when they got to Meltokio, Sheena ditched to go tell her fellow Mizuhoians about her failure. When she got there, she got bitch-slapped repeatedly by the 9 village members. And Tiga lectured her. Then told her to stalk the group because Mizuho is like the school gossip of Tethe'alla. They have to know everything!! Always need to be involved. And they try to be an inconspicuous village. They're hidden and secret but are intentionally involved in everything!! Like, wtf?

So Sheena went and saved their asses in Sybak. Well not Genis and Raine's. They had to nearly commit suicide and jump off a bridge to save them. But Undine saved them. Because she's cool like that. But Zelos had joined the group to prevent them from saving Sylvarant because the King is an ass like that and wants to sacrifice an ENTIRE WORLD to prevent an economic depression.

Sheena smacked Zelos an infinite amount of times. Because he was trying to not get close to her to prevent the whole falling in love thing by being a super crazy asshat pervert jerk face bitch. And he couldn't just not talk to her. Because he hearts her too much. But they kind of loved each other anyway. Deep down. For Sheena, VERY deep down…

But then they saved Colette by giving her a key crest. This is such an obvious solution that even Lloyd could have thought of it. And he's functionally retarded. Maybe. After much crap including Regal and Presea joining, Presea getting a key crest, the Desians, Cruxis, Renegades, the Church of Martel, and the King all trying to kill the group, and Colette getting kidnapped and then saved, they figured that they should form pacts with all the summon spirits to fully separate the worlds. Which was a horrible idea. As Kratos tried to convince them. But he really needs new tactics because he sounded like an arrogant SOB. But they did it.

Sheena had to face her fears and form pacts with summon sprits. Volt almost killed everyone, because he for some reason that's probably all Mithos betraying him doesn't like people, anymore but Corrine sacrificed him/herself for Sheena. And Sheena freaked out but Lloyd convinced her to fight Volt and get the pact. Which they did. And Sheena was all sad because Corrine died and Zelos kind of comforted her, as much as he could while sticking to his plan, as did Lloyd, but she will always grieve. Poor Corrine. Her first real friend. *sob*

Then they went to go to the Otherworldly gate after figuring out all of the crap about Alicia and Regal and the murder because Raine ran off there because she likes ruins a little bit and Kuchinawa was there. Sheena almost kills herself in effort to save the rest of the party but Zelos totally saved her ass. Then creepily asked for a kiss to make sure Sheena still didn't love him. Which she did anyway because he is so freaking hott.

Then after making all the pacts, the giant tree went insane and pwned most of Sylvarant, including Marta's mommy, Palmacosta, the Tower of Mana, Thoda Geyser, Balacruf Mausoleum, Triet Ruins, etc. And Sheena had to save Sylvarant by using the mana cannon to fire... mana... from the disciple of everlasting ice, Celsius; the envoy from the dark abyss, Shadow; the servant of Mother Earth, Gnome; and the hammer of godly thunder, Volt. While everyone else tuned off the mana reactor in the Iselia Human Ranch, she was firing the cannon. Actually she was just kinda hanging with some random Renegades and maybe Yuan in the mana cannon waiting for the signal. Together the tree was subdued, Martel was pwned and Yuan was sad.

They also figured out that Colette was turning into a freaking Cruxis Crystal! Oh shit. Kratos vaguely hinted at how to save her, and they figured it out. With the help of this random kid named Mithos that Genis was totally in friend love with, they found what they need to cure Colette. So they got the Zircon from the Lezerano Group, and Mana Leaf Herb from the annoying Lantheon Gorge, after having to going though the stupid Ymir Forest to the elf village with the cool music, Heimdall. They learned from some creepy ass elf guy that twitches weirdly that the hero Mithos Yggdrasil, his sister Martel, Yuan, and Kratos split the world in two and stuff. That's how they stopped the epic Sylvarant and Tethe'alla war.

Then they had to get their asses to Derris-Kharlan to get a mana fragment. But they had to get Zelos' Cruxis Crystal from Jimmy Newtron, I mean Seles, Zelos' little brother, I mean sister. They both pretend to hate each others' guts but they love each other. Awww. After that they went to the tower where Zelos laughed like a freaking pedophile. They pwned Kratos, who was waiting for them because Zelos can be heard from like 10 miles away-20 with angel senses- in his judgment suit.

Then after much deception, they got the thing and escaped from Welgia, the angel city. Then they had an intellectual debate with Mithos and didn't pwn him. But they escaped and saved Colette! Yay!

But then Yuan came to Altessa's house UNINVITED and was all "KRATOS IS YO DADDY!!" And some stuff happened, like Mithos revealing himself to be Yggdrasill, Mithos kicking the crap out of Yuan, and Kratos getting pwned. Altessa got pwned by Mithos too so the peeps had to go to Flanoir and get the only decent doctor in the world. Who is a greedy-ass bitch. But then the Flanoir scene happened and Zelos had a somewhat serious conversation with Sheena before he started groping her to keep up with the failing plan "Plan I Don't Want To Fall In Love With Sheena Because My Kid Will Have The Same Shitty Life I Do" aka "Plan IDWTFILWSBMKWHTSSLID." Colette gave Lloyd some awesome snow bunny that saved his life after some sick traps the people all get into.

After Zelos fake betrayed the party and Pronyma ran away with Colette (that sounds dirty), Zelos got some Ainois for Lloyd and saved everyone from the traps. When he saved she Sheena she bitch-slapped him about 42 times. Then she trusted him because she loves him. Even though there is nothing she hates worse than a traitor. Which was kind of positive for plan IDWTFILWSBMKWHTSSLID. But anyway Sheena was falling down a hole when Zelos caught her. Everyone arrived just in time to see Colette be Martel and reject Mithos. Mithos then did the most insane sounding laughter ever to be heard. They also came to help pwn the crap out of Pronyma. Well Zelos came after that. Zelos didn't want to kill Pronyma because she is hot. Not. He just wanted her to die before Lloyd's group challenged Mithos. Then they killed him. But stupid Genis with his crazy strong friendship feelings for Mithos took the Cruxis Crystal.

They then went to Heimdall to get the pact with Origin so they could return the world to its normal form with the Eternal Sword. But in order to do that, they had to kill Kratos who told them they had to do it because he's just a little suicidal. They almost did, but Yuan saves his life by giving him some mana. And Lloyd gives another intense speech about world saving and the lack of meaning in dying and that every life has meaning once it is born. Then Colette got kidnapped AGAIN by Mithos who took over her body. If he got a haircut, he'd look exactly the same. Then they saved her and everyone from the stupid freaking Derris Emblem, and got the quite useless Past and Future Stone, and Sacred Stone.

Then they returned to the world to do some side quests. Including Sheena dueling with Kuchinawa and winning, then becoming the next chief of Mizuho. Which was a big deal considering that most of the village (5 of the 9) still hated her guts. Sheena… I… I HATE YOUR GUTS!!! Yes they're just like Alice the sadist bitch. Anyway, after doing more side quests, they **Decided** to go challenge Mithos to a **Last Battle**. In his castle. And they beat him. They **Beat the Angel**. It **Wavered** and they **Fought**. In the **Final Destination**. Then he went in a stupid machine thing that you can combo until it dies. Then he showed his Hidden Sorrow said "Farwell my shadow, you who stand at the end of the path I chose not to follow. I wanted my own world, so I don't regret my choice. I'd make the same choice AALLL over again. I will continue to choose this path."

Then Lloyd pwned the crystal and they put the worlds back together and planted the new giant tree. Martel and Tabatha then merged and became this crazy tree spirit with a huge crush on Yuan. Hopefully. But then Lloyd renamed the new tree. He said, "THIS TREE'S NAME IS ………" Yep. It's named … Stupid Namco. But it was probably Yggdrasill. Maybe. Because Mithos Yggdrasill tried to suck the souls out of everyone and got a tree named after him! That lives for 4000 years!!!! What is this!? YAY LET'S PLAN TO SUCK SOME SOULS AND THEN PEOPLE WILL NAME TREES AFTER US!!!! Then Zelos effed Plan IDWTFILWSBMKWHTSSLID because he was no longer the Chosen One and finally dropped his mask and got together with Sheena and made bff's with Jimmy Newtron, I mean Seles.

But two years later Sheena fell down two, holes, smacked Zelos 5 times, made some new friends, pwned more noobs, did more puzzles, gained more perspective, loved Zelos more, and got involved with another world saving plot.

In which she lived happily ever after. As did Colette, Lloyd, Emil, Marta, not Richter because Aster died but he made "friends" with a new guy, Alice and Decus in the afterlife, not Kvar because he's still burning in hell, Zelos, Regal, Raine, Genis, Presea, Kate the half-potato, Harley and Aisha (who got married) Linar, Frank, Phiadra, Yuan and Martabatha, Brute, not any of the random Desians, not Kvar because he's in hell for eternity, not Pronyma because she's a slut, not Rodyle because he's a creep, not Magnius, because no one liked him because of his vermin inferior being-ness and I'm a superior half-elf bow down to my bitches attitude, not Forcystus because he tried to kill the world, the Renegades, Norton, Director Shnider, Rataosk, Kratos and the Derris-Kharlan tree spirit, Celsius, Undine, Efreet, Gnome, Shadow, Luna, Aska, the Sylph, Volt, Glacies, sort of Aqua, Ignis, Solum, Tenebrae, Lumen, Ventus, Tonitrus, Origin, Maxwell, Rilena, not Zelos' Groupies, not the old Pope, the King of Tethe'alla, Princess Hilda, not Abyssion, Alicia and Anna who became buds in heaven, Altessa, Dirk, Botta in heaven, Chocolat, Marble in heaven, Caoca, not Dorr, Dorr's wife Clara (she's better off without him, he was such a jerk), not Hawkie and Magnar, not Mithos, Noishe, Pietro (the guy that saved Luin), the elf elder, Virginia, not the Iselia mayor, the Luin mayor, the Asgard mayor, Seles, and the KATZ. But most, importantly, Sheena and Zelos got married. And people stopped hating half-elves and Sylvaranti so much.

And no one ever fought again because we achieved eternal world peace!!! YAY!!!!!

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**Don't you just love my ending! Haha. Please review. I'm on my knees. I'm begging you! Even if you think it's the worst thing ever to happen to this planet! And just in case you actually care, this was done ALL by Megan. Not Alicia. Like our other fic.... I better stop this before I rant for like 8 pages like what happened in that email I sent... **


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